


close to your heart

by azunshi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Graduation, I wrote this on a whim, M/M, Pining, Secret Crush, Short-haired Azumane Asahi, im emotional over jeonghan too, second button giveaway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 01:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20826917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azunshi/pseuds/azunshi
Summary: “So who’s the lucky person?” asks Nishinoya.Asahi arches his eyebrow, not quite understanding him.“The button. Your second button … isn’t there anymore.”The corners of Asahi’s lips curve upwards into a smile; it’s a rare one that’s full of gentle fondness, a smile that Nishinoya notices he doesn’t give to anyone very often. “Ah, so it seems,” says Asahi mysteriously.It is often thought that the second button is close to your heart. Therefore, the act of giving someone the second button of your uniform conveys the message that you think of that person as the most precious person to you.





	close to your heart

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes i decided to write this on a whim based on [this tweet of mine](https://twitter.com/azunshi/status/1178439969053925376) and not because im trying to procrastinate on revising hahahahhah
> 
> anyway i hope you'll enjoy reading this <3
> 
> edit on 16/10/2020: cleaned up some grammar mistakes and added a little bit but no drastic changes have been made

Nishinoya’s fingernails scrape against the box in his hands. The glossy paper isn’t very absorbent so he has to wipe his palms on his _gakuran_ every so often. For goodness sake, Nishinoya shouldn’t even be this nervous about giving Asahi his graduation present.

His eyes scan the corridor of the third years’ floor while he squeezes through the crowd; here and there he catches glimpses of teary goodbyes, friends signing each other’s uniform with markers and exchanges of tight hugs. His heart creeps up to his throat with trepidation as he squeezes past a group of sobbing seniors to Class 3-3.

He comes here often enough during the past school year that some of Asahi’s classmates recognize him. At the sight of him peering into their classroom, one of the guys informs him Asahi isn’t here.

“Do you know where he might be?” Nishinoya asks, his voice catching a little.

They take one glance at the box, neatly wrapped with a little bow on top, in Nishinoya’s hands then at his pale and nervous face before shaking their heads. “Sorry,” they say, “but he left, like, five minutes ago so he shouldn’t be too far.”

“Thanks.” Nishinoya continues back into the crowded corridor. His chest is heavy with a strange mix of relief and disappointment.

Though he’s taken weeks to put together Asahi’s graduation gift, he’s still mentally and emotionally unprepared to say goodbye to Asahi. The extra bit of time he uses to find Asahi is great, which means he can probably prepare himself or something, but he also knows this means he’ll lose more of his hastily plucked courage.

He had a whole script prepared but as he recites it in his head while searching for Asahi, he realizes chunks of it has disappeared from his mind.

He wipes his sweaty palms on his gakuran for the nth time today.

He walks further along the corridor but there’s no Asahi in sight. His heart sinks further when he remembers he’s about to approach the end of the corridor.

And then he spots him.

A head of brown hair visible over the crowd. Nishinoya’s pulse jumps as he quickens his pace towards Asahi.

“Asahi-san!” he shouts over the noise in the corridor, the volume of his voice causing some people to stop talking in surprise and look his way. He squeezes past a couple of students before coming to a stop before Asahi.

“Oh, Noya,” Asahi says, the smile appearing on his face at the sight of Nishinoya brighter than the sunlight pouring through a window nearby.

Asahi has worn a lot of hairstyles since they met from the little ponytail to the man bun to leaving his hair down, but it’s still jarring to see Asahi’s once long and luscious brown locks as short wavy strands that sweep over his forehead and fall just above his ears even though he’d gotten this haircut recently.

He remembered when the volleyball club were having a little party at Daichi’s last weekend. The party was a blur but Nishinoya distinctly remembered someone daring Asahi to cut off his hair as a symbolic ceremony of leaving high school or something. Nishinoya recalled being surprised that anyone would suggest such a thing, after all Asahi did look amazing with long hair, but was speechless when Asahi agreed to it.

“It’s just hair,” Asahi had said and Nishinoya was certain he almost cried; he liked Asahi's hair. “It’ll grow back.” He then proceeded to grab a pair of scissors and snipped off his beautiful locks in front of everybody, who watched him with a mix of mute horror and amazement. Nishinoya wanted to write it off as a bad dream, a nightmare. But when he came to school the following week, Asahi sported a new hairstyle, salvaging the mess he made during the party.

Not that Asahi’s new hairstyle looks bad on him. In fact, it gives him a mature and thoughtful yet bookishly attractive appearance—so different from the wild and intimidating look he had had for the past two years. It reminds Nishinoya a bit of a hairstyle one of his favorite male idols used to have (but he’s certain Asahi has no idea of it, much less which idol it is).

_He still looks like someone who’s way out of your league_, says a tiny voice in his head and pangs of yearning stab right through his chest. _No, no, this isn’t the time to think about this_. He inhales sharply, blinking back the sudden pressure behind his eyes and regains his composure. Asahi doesn’t notice; he was excusing himself from a girl who was talking to him.

Nishinoya wishes he didn’t notice the moony look in her eyes—which he recognizes from whenever Tanaka looks at Kiyoko sometimes—or that Asahi’s second button was missing.

_Oh, the button is missing_. Nishinoya's chest tightens a little.

“Hey.” Although Asahi’s voice is low and soft, it’s somehow audible over the din around them.

Nishinoya’s mouth goes sandpaper-dry. His speech, which had missing chunks, have now completely erased itself from his mind. But his muscles jerk and somehow he’s robotically holding out Asahi’s present to him.

“T-this is for you,” Nishinoya stammers and immediately wants to smack himself over the head for it. “Uh, for your graduation …— it’s your graduation present,” he explains.

Asahi accepts it and in the moment of handing it over, his fingers brush over Nishinoya’s briefly before the present is out of Nishinoya’s hands. “That’s very nice of you. Thank you.”

Nishinoya nods, suddenly unable to look at Asahi in the eye. “So, uh,” he begins, rubbing the back of his neck, “do you have any plans after this?”

Asahi blinks. “Well, I’m just going to go home and take a nap. Maybe read a book or something—”

Nishinoya rolls his eyes but grins all the same. “No, silly,” he says, giving Asahi’s arm a playful smack. “I mean, after all this.” He gestures around them. Up till this point, he never bothered to ask Asahi about his future plans, not because he isn’t interested in it but because he doesn’t want to think about a potentially Asahi-less future. Sure, they could still be friends and all but then Asahi might go to some university far away and they’d still talk but eventually the distance would separate them and end their friendship.

“I’ve applied for a couple of universities in the prefecture,” says Asahi. “But whether I’ll get accepted is another thing altogether,” he adds with a laugh.

A crease appears between Nishinoya’s eyebrows. “Asahi-san, you’re doing that again,” he chides, crossing his arms. “That self-deprecating thing.” Asahi gives an apologetic smile. “I’m sure you’ll get accepted,” says Nishinoya firmly, not out of kindness but because he genuinely believes so.

Asahi has done his best in this school year, balancing volleyball and studies, doing much more than what his peers would have done. He _definitely_ deserves a place to continue his studies. If none of the universities he applied for accepts him, Nishinoya would personally burn them to the ground out of vengeance.

Nishinoya asks Asahi a few more questions about his future plans and Asahi graciously answers them all but somewhere along the way Nishinoya’s focus ebbs away from what Asahi’s saying to the missing second button on his uniform.

He doesn't want to acknowledge that the sight of it hurts him on a visceral level.

Since the start of his second year, when Asahi left the club after that horrible Dateko match, Nishinoya realized that perhaps the reason why he felt so strongly about Asahi quitting was because he had developed not-so-platonic feelings towards him. He denied those feelings, fought so hard to will them out of existence, that it only made him miserable and bitter. But when Asahi came back, he slowly accepted those feelings, little by little then all at once.

Despite that, he never mentioned his love for Asahi to another soul, except maybe to the stray cats who sometimes stopped by at his place for food. He wouldn’t risk his friendship with Asahi for this. It wouldn’t have been fair for Asahi too, considering it was his last year of high school; he didn't need any more distractions. So Nishinoya kept his feelings to himself, while dying inside every time he sees Asahi being approached by one of his admirers.

“Noya?” The sound of Asahi calling him snaps him back to the present. “You okay?” asks Asahi, brows furrowed with concern. “You seem a little distracted.”

Nishinoya opens his mouth, prepared to shrug it off and make some excuse. But he stops because he sees it: the opportunity to shoot his shot. If he tells Asahi about his feelings right here and now, he wouldn’t have to worry about losing Asahi. After all, he’s probably going to some university far away so if Nishinoya loses his friendship with Asahi, they won't be seeing each other again so things won't be awkward.

But he can’t jump into that yet. There’s one thing he needs to address.

“So who’s the lucky person?” asks Nishinoya.

Asahi arches his eyebrow, not quite understanding him.

Nishinoya’s face heats up. “The button,” he mumbles. “Your second button … isn’t there anymore.”

Something confusing happens. The corners of Asahi’s lips curve upwards into a smile; it’s a rare one that’s full of gentle fondness, a smile that Nishinoya notices he doesn’t give to anyone very often. “Ah, so it seems,” says Asahi mysteriously.

_Damn it, Asahi_.

Nishinoya can’t bring himself to ask who it is anymore. The pressure behind his eyes only grow stronger. He averts his gaze from Asahi’s, every muscle in his body prepared to walk away when Asahi reaches out.

Asahi's hand closing around his wrist. Turns Nishinoya's hand over and presses a small object into his palm before wrapping his fingers around it.

Nishinoya’s heart skips but he doesn’t dare to hope, would _never_ dare to hope. It isn’t until Asahi lets go of his hand that he looks at Asahi for some explanation to this mysterious gesture.

Asahi’s gentle smile hasn’t wavered and whatever it is that Asahi gave him is still pressed tightly inside his hand. Time moves like honey as Nishinoya looks down and slowly opens his fist.

A little round button sits in the middle of his palm, winking at him. Nishinoya stares at it, at first with disbelief then confusion before realization.

There it is. Asahi’s second button.

In his surprise, he almost doesn’t hear Asahi say, “_You’re_ the lucky person, Noya.”

Nishinoya’s vision begins to mist as he looks up at Asahi. A stifled sob chokes out of him the same time Asahi spreads his arms open. His eyes squeeze shut as he launches himself into Asahi. He buries his face into Asahi’s chest, allowing himself to drown in Asahi.

“You dummy,” he says into Asahi’s chest though he isn’t certain anymore who he’s addressing. He pulls back to wipe his eyes, then cranes his head to look at Asahi. “I’ve loved you for the longest time and now you pull this shit off?” he demands, fisting Asahi’s shirt. "No fair, Asahi-san. Big meanie."

Asahi laughs, smoothing his hand down Nishinoya’s back. He leans down and Nishinoya freezes just a little when Asahi’s warm breath ghosts over his ear. “I love you,” whispers Asahi in the sweetest way, “I love you, Nishinoya Yuu.”

**Author's Note:**

> so since last night i've been crying over this one guy named jeonghan fromseventeen because he's so pretty with long hair and also because im a hormonal mess rn but yeah asahi changing his haircut dramatically is based on jeonghan chopping off his hair too (which i found out last night)
> 
> anyway shout out to bonibelle's [short-haired asahi](https://boniebelle.tumblr.com/post/162404004562/asahi-san-with-short-hair-%E0%B9%91-%E0%B9%91) for being a point of reference for me when i had to describe asahi.
> 
> here's jeonghan with [long hair](https://img.kpopmap.com/2017/05/20170520215603_112653668.jpg) and here's him with [short hair](https://img.kpopmap.com/2017/05/seventeen-jeonghan-al1-hairstyle-change-debut-5-768x1152.jpg)
> 
> *whispers* stream [fear by seventeen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap14O5-G7UA)!
> 
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/azunshi)| [ tumblr ](https://avatarclub.tumblr.com)


End file.
